My childhood was more than difficult. I was adopted at the age of 18 months into a dangerous situation with a mother who was, in the clinical sense, a sadistic narcissistic psychopath, and a father who was her enabler.
Life was dark and filled with terror. To survive I had to try to be not seen, not heard, totally compliant, express no emotion of any kind. Any breach of those conditions would send the psychopath into a rage against me, and she could be very sadistic indeed. I was isolated, alone, and no-one knew. I hid my self so well that nobody could find me – not even me.
As a teenager, my life was even more in danger. My adopted mother, sensing that she was going to lose her power over me, escalated her controlling behavior because she could no longer keep me in isolation from the rest of the world. I lived on the edge of a razor blade. Any little slip would cause weeks of terror and misery for me.
All this happened behind closed doors. To my friends and the world, I seemed to be healthy, happy and well adjusted. I put on a mask of happiness every day before I ventured out into the public eye. By the time I was an adult I had learned my lessons well – tell no-one, admit nothing, don’t draw anyone’s attention.
I struggled through the early years of my marriage and the early years of my two sons’ lives. I studied psychology, spiritual healing and energy healing. My life was beginning to show promise, but I lacked direction and motivation. Opportunities seemed to pass me by while I sat and watched them. My fear of taking a chance was too great. My conditioning to stay unnoticed by the world was holding me back.
Relationships with friends and family were not satisfactory. I was being bullied, used and taken for granted. Nobody was listening to me and I didn’t know how to make them see me as I truly was. I felt invisible. I couldn’t break the wall of protection I’d built up around myself.
I was living a lie. I was living an incomplete life. I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t know how to turn my circumstances around.
By chance one day online, I discovered a little Powerpoint presentation by Maia Berens. “Three Magic Secrets”. I watched it. I cried. I watched it again. Here was someone speaking right to my heart and soul. Here was someone who understood what I’d been through and was holding out hope. I wrote a review of the presentation on Maia’s blog and she contacted me. From that moment on, my whole life changed.
Maia and I emailed back and forth for a short while, then she offered me the chance to go through YOU University – a new program she was developing. For the first time in my entire life, I reached out and took a chance. I embraced Maia and her wonderful program. However, for me, it wasn’t easy when I started YOU University. I still had to learn to trust myself and to trust Maia.
Right from the beginning I felt a real connection between myself and Maia as my coach. I felt the changes in me and in my life begin. I felt the power and the truth of this healing emotion-based program.
I learned how to face my fears, face my past and heal old issues that had been holding me back. I started to look at my whole life and my whole self and learned how to view both with love and forgiveness. Life became a great big school for me, and lessons were everywhere in everything that happened every day.
Today, having been through YOU University as a student and as a Life Coach, I am a different person.
I am confident, calm, self-assured. My life has direction and I am in control. I am manifesting my dreams and making my life happen. I no longer see myself as a victim of life, floating along from one circumstance to another. I am the orchestrator.
I think positively and I’m deeply aware of my own self, my feelings, my inner dialogue. I have learned how to relate to the people in my life and I am teaching them how to relate to me. I am confident with my personal boundaries and I’m a much stronger person. I look at myself differently now and so do other people. I feel free of the guilt and pain that was holding me back. I don’t put limitations upon myself any more. The positive changes in the way I think about myself are noticeable. I have dreams and goals and I’m not afraid to reach for them.
YOU University has helped me change my whole life. I know who I am and what I want, and I’m not afraid to be my authentic self in all situations. I am living my real life now, and I can do so with joy, enthusiasm, honesty, integrity, and with great love for myself and for the whole world.